


destruction of the mind

by LydiaLannister



Category: Original Work
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27113236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LydiaLannister/pseuds/LydiaLannister
Summary: I wrote a drabble for these characters in my Inktober 2020 which you can check out here:https://archiveofourown.org/works/26692948/chapters/66207547





	destruction of the mind

Destruction of the Mind

Ar·ma·ged·don

ˌärməˈɡedn/

_noun_

noun: **Armageddon** ; plural noun: **Armageddons**

a dramatic and catastrophic conflict, typically seen as likely to destroy the world or the human race.

Humanity’s destruction had been contemplated countless times. And now it had come.

*** 

The missiles were like small comets - beautiful at a distance, but up close, a fiery death awaited. And that was exactly what was happening: dozens of these highly destructive objects were flying at hundreds of miles per hour, with one destination. Earth. 

One such missile arced perfectly, flying with the deadly accuracy that it had been made to fulfill, and imploded upon its desired target, Washington D.C. Watching all of this, from their universal seat of power, sat the thinkers, the dreamers, the leaders of what now remained of humanity. Nothing would ever be the same, not with all the new discoveries in the truth of the world. Not with the final experiment, the final trial coming to a thunderous, if not predictable, end.

Armageddon had come. It had come for the killers, the criminals, the believers, and by them it had been sent. When the worst of the worst were left to their own devices, this was what they did. They destroyed each other, and they did not even stop to think, for if they had been capable of such action, the angels would have come for them, would have saved them like those that now watched the destruction of the first home of humanity.

And that, that was how the world ended. Or rather, the world of the senseless.

***

_63 hours 45 minutes 27 seconds before_

The looming maw of the event horizon was coming closer and closer. And the incessant beeping of the ships monitors only confirmed what everyone aboard already knew: there better be something behind the horizon. And Meena knew it couldn’t be just something. It would have to allow for human life, because if it didn’t, Meena didn’t want to think that far. Of course, this was silly because the only reason Meena had been brought on this mission was to think. Despite the fact that Meena was terrified, she swallowed her dread and kept her eyes trained on the incredible sight before her.

The trick to this working, thought Meena, trying desperately to organize her terror into rational thought, was that there was in fact something beyond or within the black hole. And if there wasn’t they were all screwed. At least their death would be quick. With that comforting thought she focused her attention back on the incredible sight before her. With the blazing light that spewed out from behind the edges of the hole and the dark mass clustered in its center, it all looked like a strange version of a solar eclipse.

Maybe it was the fact that in a few moments Meena’s life could be snuffed out, or maybe it was just her conflicting emotions that had been building over the past few days, but suddenly she was overcome by a powerful memory.

***

“Come on, we’re going to miss it if you don’t hurry up. Meena!” her older sister was shouting from outside the bathroom. But Meena couldn’t bring herself to leave the safety of the bathroom just yet. This bathroom had been there for her when no one else had. It had been there when she was five, with its ideal hiding spot in the cabinet under the sink where her sister could never find her. It had been there again, when she was eleven and hiding from her drunk father, where he could never find her. And it had been there, providing a judgement free safe haven to clean herself up in after the worst night of her life. But now, it didn’t feel safe, or comforting. Now, it didn’t provide a place where she could escape from the world and hide. Now, staring down at the horrible stick of doom, a simple two-dollar pregnancy test from Walgreens, the bathroom felt like another conspirator against her. 

Wet tears rolled down her cheeks, tears of shame, of guilt, of worry. And she could see the redness that had bloomed across her dark cheeks in the unforgiving harshness of the medicine cabinet mirror. Her knees felt weak and she found herself having to sit down on the side of the porcelain tub, where she and her sister had bathed together so many times as children. This couldn’t be happening. Meena couldn’t be pregnant, not like this. None of this should have ever happened. 

But it had. She was 19 for crying out loud. She kept her nose clean, did well in school, had a career all laid out for her. What had she done to have such an ill fate? Meena almost laughed aloud at that thought, since when did she, the ever-logical thinker believe in fate. But she couldn’t bring herself to laugh, because everything that had happened in the past month wasn’t a joke. She cursed herself for her stupidity, her naivety, and most of all for her cowardice. If she had just spoken up, told her sister about what had happened at the party, then maybe she wouldn’t be in this mess now.

“Meena, are you okay in there?” her sister called now, sounding slightly less excited and more worried.

Meena snapped her head up and stood. She had to pull herself together, she had to be strong and take care of herself, because she certainly couldn’t burden her older sister with this. Not after everything her sister had done for her. And most of all because it had been her sister’s boyfriend who had drunkenly raped Meena in the piss stained bathroom at the frat party. 

Gathering her strength, Meena stuck the pregnancy test in her bag and wiped her tears away. Opening the bathroom door, she finally answered her sister with a quick, “I’m fine, let’s go.”

Andrea had given Meena only the slightest look of concern, but the excitement of the day was too much and so she didn’t act upon it. Maybe if she had things would have ended differently, but they hadn’t.

Andrea drove them down the road, headed out of the city, to see an eclipse. One that the two of them had been waiting for ever since they had been kids, and the excitement that filled the car made it evident that even after 4 years of anticipation this event was going to be amazing. And Meena, not wanting to hurt her sister, put on her brave face, one that was unfamiliar to her, because normally it was her sister who had put it on in order to protect Meena.

They had almost been to the turn off for the hilltop from which they would have a perfect view, when the truck had come out of nowhere and hit their car.

Meena had thought that the night of the party had been the worst moment of her life. But this was worse. And in those moments, Meena would have let Andrea’s boyfriend rape her a thousand times over, because anything would have been better than seeing Andrea lying there, lifeless and glassy eyed on the hard asphalt.

Meena lay there for some time herself, her whole body aching and unable to move. Her throat was dry, and she couldn’t muster the strength to cry for help. Across the road, she could see the truck driver, brain matter splattered on the black tar. Meena wanted to vomit, would have welcomed the nasty bile that would have crept up her throat, because it would have meant that she had some strength left in her. But instead of vomiting, her abdomen cramped hard. 

The pain was blinding, and Meena tried to cry out. But her throat was still useless and all she could do was lie there as she bled. In the last few moments of consciousness Meena saw an immense amount of red on the highway, her blood, she thought groggily. And just before she let the dark comfort of unconsciousness claim her, she registered in the back of her mind that she was the only one left alive, even her baby was gone.

When she had finally come to in a hospital bed, there had been no one there. She wasn’t surprised, her mother had left when Meena had been two and her father was an alcoholic who didn’t give much of damn what happened to his children, and Andrea was dead. That sent a sudden wave of pain rippling through her head. She didn’t want to believe it, she didn’t want to accept it, but her sister, the only person who had ever cared what happened to her, was dead.

*** 

The memory ended, leaving Meena in shock and pain. And even the beautiful dark mass that they were heading straight towards, surrounded by an array of spewing matter, couldn’t take her mind off the hurt. So, she had to look away. Because for the first time, since the start of this thought to be impossible mission, Meena started having doubts. And now it was definitely too late to have doubts. They would soon be at the point of no return and the culmination of nearly an entire millennium’s worth of work would soon be revealed. Or they would all just meet an extremely fast end, but this time, Meena welcomed the thought of a quick death, because she wouldn’t have to deal with the pain anymore.

There was a sudden increase in pressure, setting off more monitors as the beeping and whirring blended into the smooth cacophony of doom. Meena didn’t care, it didn’t matter what happened now. Her sister was gone. 

And as the pressure increase became too much and Meena slipped into the sweet bliss of unconsciousness, her last image was of a city, a brilliant city in the heart of the black hole.

***

She was no longer wearing her stuffy suit. As this thought took hold in her mind, it struck her that she was no longer wearing her final line of defense against a potentially dangerous atmosphere, if there even was an atmosphere wherever she was. With those thoughts, she finally managed to open her eyes and was met with a sight that almost sent her right back into the shock induced coma.

She was lying suspended in mid-air in the center of a gigantic room. Around her she saw her colleagues, each of them hanging in their own suspension. And to the front of the room, an enormous glass window that looked out upon a city, sparkling as if under the brightest sunshine. But Meena knew it couldn’t be sunshine, because they must be in the black hole, and as far as science could tell her, there were no whole stars within black holes. 

As she thought about it, and how there could be something that looked so convincingly like sunlight, she realized that there was nothing that said the inside of a black hole had to be dark. As a matter of fact, if a black hole absorbed light, then it would only logically make sense for that light to be captured within. This revelation made her feel slightly more in control; all she had to do to understand this strange new place was to think calmly and apply the laws that were universal. And if she could figure out her surroundings, it would be a great start to perhaps finally solving some of the greatest scientific theories known to human-kind. 

Then, like a ton of bricks, she remembered her final thoughts before she had woken up. She was a scientist now though, not a school girl, and certainly beyond this childish sort of thought. She had long since come to terms with the fact that her sister was dead and that wishing she were dead was a thought of the past. Something she was far past, and something she had abandoned when she had taken the mission to space, knowing that this was important to more than just her. She couldn’t botch it up or let her emotions get in the way, because if she did, others would get hurt.

Pushing her unprofessional train of thought away, she focused her attention back to the current situation. Which, really, wasn’t a situation at all because she couldn’t even sit up, let alone find out anything about this foreign place. 

When she had been a little girl, she had been able to get herself into all sorts of tight spaces, and of course, back out again. This would be just another spot to get out of, another game she could easily play. She wiggled around tentatively, not wanting to be suddenly dropped on the floor, but whatever force was keeping her suspended did not cease. After several more attempts of getting down, she gave it a rest. Shouting, instead, in hopes that someone else would wake up and would be able to help them get down, Meena finally managed to slip her bottom half through a gap that she had found at the foot-end of the strange suspension force. Her feet barely touched the ground, making her curse her short build, which had mostly been a blessing, allowing her to fit almost anywhere. The only place where it had ever been a hinderance before had been driving, and it had never occurred to her that it would make it difficult to get out of an alien suspension. Although, she thought, smirking to herself, why should she have ever thought about that. Humans had never seriously believed in aliens with this level of advancement before anyways.

Eventually, she thought to use the time old trick of scooting on her bottom. And slid her bottom half down further so that she could finally come to an awkward standing position. Now it just took a tiny bit of wiggling and she was free. Standing unhindered on her own two feet, she looked out the floor to ceiling window. 

She thought, looking out at the glittering city elegantly sprawled before her, that even if she got to see it and explore it, it would never cease to amaze her. This world hidden within a black hole not far-by light year standards-from her own was even more incredible than anything she and Andrea had ever imagined. Before she could stop her thoughts, another memory swam into her head.

***

The two of them were sitting on the porch swing late at night. Meena was seven years old, and Andrea was turning fourteen later that summer. They were wrapped up in an old afghan blanket and had mugs of hot chocolate in their hands. There were only a few marshmallows bobbing around in Meena’s cup, she had slurped most of them up on the way from the kitchen to the porch and was now eyeing Andrea’s mug with a keen gaze. The older sister, knowing that her marshmallows weren’t safe, decided to just take the loss, and handed her mug over. Meena’s grin was more than enough to make up for the few marshmallows that Andrea didn’t get to have the pleasure of eating and Andrea used her freed-up hand to pull the blanket tighter around them.

They were sitting out on the porch that summer night to watch a meteor shower, and even though it seemed as though Meena was more interested in her sugary beverage than the stars or the night sky, she was almost more excited than her big sister. Even though Meena was only seven years old, she had a fierce passion for the vast universe that existed outside the confines of the earth. Someday she planned to explore them. The ship would be flown by Andrea, who’s own dream was to pilot spaceships in the sky that meant so much to the sisters, and Meena would be the captain of the expedition, just like when they played in their backyard. 

“What do think the aliens are like?” the seven-year-old asked her sister, sparing only a quick glance at her and then returning to her precious hot chocolate.

Andrea smiled, thinking about her sister’s question.

“I think they’ll be slimy, and small, not even a foot high. Their slimy skin allows them to adapt to the harsh environments on the many planets they’ve colonized. And they won’t have eyes, instead they’ll use tentacles, to feel everything.” The elder of the two girls answered, only half kidding.

Meena giggled and was about to reply when the first streak of light flashed across the dark sky.

The sisters instantly became very quiet, as if their chatter would somehow disrupt the meteors in their path through space. 

It was moments like these, where they could just be themselves. Where Andrea didn’t have to be the fierce protector who shielded her little sister from all of the abuse their father threw at them. Where Meena didn’t have pretend to not understand their difficult situation. Where they could be two sisters, dreaming about exploring the stars together and leaving their horrid lives on earth far behind.

***

Many of the most respected scientists had believed in life existing out in the vast expanse of space, but many had suspected that it would find humanity, or that they were separated by time or distance that would render an encounter impossible. But here was proof, that life was somewhere other than earth and that it was thriving by the looks of the city. And they had been the ones to find it.

And that was when it hit her, she was breathing without any sort of trouble, and there seemed to be no additional gravitational pull. The conditions seemed to be just like on Earth. The odds of the interior of a black hole having the exact same conditions of Earth were practically zero. Which meant, Meena thought, that they had in fact not discovered the inhabitants of this world, the inhabitants, or aliens, must have discovered them. Because these conditions must have been taken straight from Earth in order to make sure the human adventurers could survive.

Andrea had always joked to Meena that maybe the aliens would be ‘mean’ and ‘big’ and ‘scary’ and nowhere near as intelligent and civilized as Meena always dreamed they would be. This time the thought of her sister didn’t feel as traitorous to herself as it had the first few times. In fact, this time, Meena actually managed a giggle. The size of the door and of the city meant that the aliens had to be of a size close to that of a human, and the fact that Meena and her colleagues were alive and, in an environment, meant for them, the aliens couldn’t mean to hurt them and clearly had the capacity for intelligent thought.

The emotions that Meena had felt in the past eight hours or so, she could only make an educated guess as her watch had cracked and was no longer working, had mostly been of guilt and grief. Now, she finally felt something close to joy, to excitement. Something giddy and bubbly, because she was finally going to be able to accomplish what she and her big sister had always dreamed of. 

She was going to make Andrea proud, even if her big sister was long gone. 

***

The door had been locked, and though Meena had been rather disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to explore this strange new world, she had also realized that this was probably a sign of consideration from the unknown life. The door was most likely airlocked in order to keep the conditions just right and Meena had to admit that it had been foolish of her to think that the conditions in this chamber would hold in the world outside it. With leaving the room out of the question, Meena had consigned herself to wait for her colleagues to wake up.

After what seemed like forever, one of the pilots began to stir, and soon after he awoke the others began to as well. They began to chatter like a group of school children during a fire drill, but through the excited and slightly nervous chatter there was also a sort of buzz rushing through the room. This discovery would change the known world. Its implications would take the scientific community like a storm. Everything was going to change.

Meena kept an eye on the door, wishing and hoping that it would open and reveal the life form that had made all of this happen. Finally, she got what she had been waiting for, but what unfolded in the hours to come was nowhere near to what Meena had expected of her first encounter with an alien life form.

***

The airlock hissed open, and through it stepped a woman. She beckoned to them, motioning them to follow her. And, too stunned to do anything else, they started to follow her. 

After a short walk through several glass hallways, they arrived in something that could be likened to a ballroom. And standing in the center was a small group of people.

What could be presumed to be the leader spoke in a clear voice that cut through the air and caught Meena’s attention instantly. Caught her attention because it was speaking English, because Meena could understand every single word that it was saying. The bubbly feeling rose, and Meena wished with all her heart that Andrea could have been here with her.

These beings looked human, they spoke English, they had made sure that all of the areas that the human explorers were in were oxygenized, none of this made sense. None of it matched up with any of the expectations or presumptions that mankind had had for an alien race, and yet here they were.

Meena was not the only one with this thought in mind, because the commander of the expedition asked just this. The response, in that perfectly formed English, was one that was both shocking and yet also, so obvious. 

“We have observed humanity for centuries. The falls and rises of your vast and various empires have been documented, as has your progress in both language and science. There have been careful studies done to meticulously and painstakingly learn your ways, your mannerisms and your societal interactions. And we must say, meaning no offense, that some have been rather confusing or silly seeming to us. As for these bodies, when we discovered that you had reached the capacity to reach us, we decided that it would be perhaps less of a shock if we were already in a form that your minds could easily process and understand. Our true forms are rather hard for interactions of the human kind, so you must pardon us for having chosen this form. I do hope that my English was clear and easy to understand, it is after all, as I see it, a particularly tricky language to learn, even to native speakers.”

Meena’s jaw dropped, several others did as well, and for good reason. They were not only not alone, but also sharing a universe with an equally, if not more, intelligent group of beings. This was more than anyone could have hoped for when they had started out on this journey, which had in truth not begun as a search for life, but a search for the answers to some of the most fundamental questions of science and mathematics. Everything that Meena had known, or thought she’d known was crumbling around her. She didn’t even know what the rules of physics were on this planet, or if it was even a planet that they were on. 

And then everything changed again. Changed because she had laid eyes on one of the entourage of humanoids and he took her breath away. 

***

Slender and tall -bony- this man did not fit the classical description of earthen beauty, and yet he drew her in, caught Meena’s attention so intensely that she thought that she was going to burn up right then and there. His features were tight, hollow in an almost malnourished way, a mere breath away from looking sickly. But that was what made him so enticing, how he was so perfectly balanced on the edge. He stood out so acutely in the collection of odd human look-a-likes that it was hard to look away. 

Their eyes met and Meena tried to duck her head, to break that intense gaze that now had her under its sway. The man gave the tiniest of smirks, as if he knew just how much he was driving her insane. She knew that it wasn’t love, nor anything as sophisticated as that, but she did feel something looking into those deep eyes. Lust was the closest thing she could think of to describe it, and that made her blush hard. These thoughts were so unlike her, so unprofessional, not at all like the shy cosmologist that she was. But there they were, and they weren’t growing any less, the longer she held that gaze, the more she wanted nothing more than to pull him to down to her and kiss him until she forgot her own name.

She was broken out of this fantasy, both by the nagging voice of reason in her own head and by the sound of her name and a hand being waved frantically in front of her face. Meena quickly tried to pull herself together and answered the question that had been asked, before turning back to the man. Only he was no longer there and as she searched the hall for him she had no luck. Until there, walking down a hallway at the far end, was his lithe silhouette. And without a further thought, she followed him.

In her mind, she imagined Andrea walking down the hall with her, waving her arms frantically and yelling at her. “Meena, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!You have no idea who, or what, this, this thing is. And you’ve never even thought about other humans in this way. What is wrong with you, little sister?! This isn’t what you should be doing, you should be-” But what the hallucination of Andrea thought Meena should be doing, Meena never heard, because it was at this point that she had reached the room that the man was in.

She walked in after him, the logical part of her screaming at her, while the rest of her was filled with an electric sort of rush. The man turned around and spoke. His voice was soft, but his words were clear and the manner of language that he used was eloquent and sent delicious chills down her back.

“You are beautiful.” Meena’s whole body shuddered with as he said those words. Everything was tense and hard, and she was filled with want.

“Were you desired on Earth too?” Meena blushed at that and shook her head softly. The Andrea standing outside of the room gave Meena a hard glare, her big sister had always hated the way Meena had been harsh on herself and of the body-shaming she inflicted on herself. But Meena ignored Andrea, as she had when Andrea had still been alive.

“I am not considered beautiful there, but the sort of beauty that is wanted for on earth is not the sort of beauty that I want to be part of.” As Meena said this she saw a small look of sorrow on the man’s face. He stepped closer to her, and gently placed a hand on her cheek.

“That is sad, because you are the most exquisite thing I have ever laid eyes upon.” His eyes met hers and it was as though little fireworks were going off in Meena’s mind. “May I kiss you?” The straight forwardness of the question didn’t help alleviate any of the building tension within her, but the thought of this man kissing her was one that she was very eager with. With her answer, the Andrea that her mind had conjured up vanished, and somewhere, in the back of her subconscious, Meena knew that it was because she had finally accepted her sister’s death. And without guilt or shame, she gave him her response.

“Yes.”

***

The kisses became deeper, more intense, everything sucking her into that point of connection. In that moment she was everything and nothing. She was the stars and she was the darkness in between. She was human, and she was not. The intensity of the situation at hand was so new and so delicious that Meena could barely think straight.

This man, who was really not a man at all, was making her feel indescribable things. If someone had asked her to document her experience, she wouldn’t have had the words to, because this yearning, this acute need was something that she would never be able to explain. One simply had to experience it, to live it, to know it. And from the sounds her partner was making she figured that their consummation of one another was more than satisfactory for the both of them.

If someone had told Meena that she would find herself on an alien planet, having a rough and passionate moment of pure intimacy with one of its inhabitants as the world destroyed itself, she would have laughed and told the person they were crazy. But that was exactly what she was doing now. And the world she had grown up in was ending, but she was not. No, she was only just beginning.


End file.
